I was born in a working-class family in a conservative Southwestern town, Liuzhou, and yet a sexual minority. I had both good and bad social experience living with contradicting identities. I knew I needed to find a place where I fit better. I tried hard. With kind help and luck, I was admitted to one of the best universities in China in 2016 – Nanjing University, where people are supposed to be more open-minded. Meanwhile, I had a new identity – a first-generation college student. I started to work part-time (as an English tutor, a café waiter, etc.) to support myself through college and finally made a lot of great friends along the way. They came from very different backgrounds, but somehow for the ones I kept, we fit well together. After six years in Nanjing, I obtained my BA and MA. Then I worked in Shanghai in the internet industries for a while and made more friends before coming to MSU.
As you can see, I’ve spent two decades searching for the right folks to hang out with. I used to think I was an exception, until I realized that everyone in the 21st century is on a never-ending journey of looking for those who are just right dates, friends, partners, etc. for themselves. We fail, we stand up, turn around, and try again. Technologies such as social media, dating apps, and AI, seemingly afford more selectivity. I couldn’t help but wonder – How does each of us navigate such a process? What are the social impacts of such processes? And just like that, I am motivated to delve into this issue.